There were some people I needed to forgive along this journey.
It was tempting to hang on to my anger and not forgive certain people, but after learning what I did from the life coach school I realized this:
When I withhold forgiveness to punish someone with my emotions, I am only punishing myself. I also gained understanding that other people’s actions are 100% about them, and not me—even if it feels personal.
If it feels personal, that’s a choice. I was literally thinking thoughts to make another person’s actions feel personal to me.
This doesn’t mean that I must jump to forgiveness or something is wrong with me. Certain actions of other(s) took more time for me to forgive. A lot more time.
I needed to understand and process the negative emotions fully.
I couldn’t go from anger directly to love.
I had to ease into other believable thoughts. I had to practice each of those slightly more believable thoughts and process those ones too.
It took time.
I attended a lot of yoga sessions and chose the intention of ‘forgiveness.’
I gave myself permission to play around with this idea of complete forgiveness without judgement.
I had this thought that “holding onto anger for an extended period of time could eventually be manifested physically.” And it may sound selfish but if there was any possibly of that being true I wanted to process this shiz and get rid of it. If forgiveness really is all about me then what’s wrong with wanting to get there for my own good?
Forgiveness does not mean getting rid of boundaries.
Forgiveness does not mean I have to trust that person again. I don’t even have to tell people when I forgive them because it’s not about them, it’s about me.
Getting to a place of forgiveness (and taking the time necessary to process emotions) has freed me.