About five years ago the hubs stopped buying me presents on holidays.
If he did give me something he would wing some sort of gift like 5 minutes before giving it to me—it was pretty obvious, ha! I didn’t understand this change in behavior, but with time I chose not to resent him for it. He was working really hard as a dentist—I wanted to cut him some slack.
I started buying my own Christmas and birthday presents, which I was totally fine with. I always got exactly what I wanted, it was amazing 😉 Looking back there was some underlying disappointment, but I distracted myself with buying cool things!
This trend continued when Danny’s anxiety came to a head three years ago. I now have more understanding as to why he stopped (and I’m really glad I cut him slack even before I consciously knew he was going downhill).
Mother’s day in particular was hard for me.
I didn’t really care about the gifts, but wanted to have a chill relaxing day where I felt completely taken care of. This was a thought I struggled with because way back when, D promised to always take care of me.
I felt a loss.
I know I keep talking about managing my mind you guys but it is everything!
Mother’s Day 2018: Danny had a Ragnar Race that weekend with some friends and wasn’t getting back until late Saturday night or early Sunday morning. I quickly realized that with this exhausting race he was not going to have the capacity to do much for Mother’s Day. But guess who’s in charge of my happiness guys? Moi. About a week before Mother’s Day I started to think about what I wanted for Mother’s day. I wanted a clean house and I didn’t want to cook.
Wait a minute, couldn’t I do those things for myself? Yes Ma’am! I found someone to come clean my house. I ordered take-out of my choosing to eat for dinner the next day. I went out with the kids and bought myself a gift.
And you guys, I got everything I wanted, I did it myself, and it truly was the best Mother’s Day ever. I had a clean house and I didn’t cook. I created my own result and didn’t depend on someone else to do that for me.
This was totally a choice!
I could have chosen to hope for him to take care of my ‘hopes’ (that I didn’t mention to him directly) which would have led to disappointment.
But that’s not what I wanted.
I wanted a chill, relaxing day with my family and I created that result for myself.