In the beginning I felt so much shame I didn’t want to talk to anyone.
I had a few friends I’d told about Danny’s health problems, but not the piece about porn (per his request). I felt broken in so many ways.
A lot of my biggest fears had come to fruition.
At first, I didn’t “have time” for therapy. I wanted all our resources to go to Danny’s health.
Cuz once he got healthy we’d alllll be better . . . right???? Wrong.
I totally needed therapy. It started as me going to get some validation from a safe person. I learned a lot about anxiety and depression.
Most importantly, she facilitated my healing (processing of grief and trauma).
I had disconnected from my body to avoid emotional pain—she helped me begin to reconnect.
This was scary yet so incredibly necessary. I started to heal (My husband wrote a great post on trauma if you want to get more background).
Some people would rather just let themselves be healed through the Atonement of Jesus Christ without professional help.
Let me suggest one thing: God works through humans to heal. There are human doctors that keep diabetics alive with a series of tests, insulin, etc. There are people that beat cancer, thanks to the knowledge and experience of human oncologists. People who can see again thanks to highly trained human ophthalmologists. When we have trauma, or emotional problems, why in the world would I have resisted going to a skilled therapist? God works through humans to heal. I needed a therapist to help me with my emotional health.
My path to recovery started when I began therapy. And the Atonement, in conjunction with the other temporal tools I accessed, healed me.