Are you tired of

Feeling like a victim to your husband’s porn use? 

Wondering if it’s possible to repair your marriage?

Feeling committed to your husband but confused about what his porn use means for you? 

Wondering what’s real and not real in your marriage? 

I'll show you how to

Heal from the emotional wounds that tend to come after finding out his past or present porn use. 

Know in your bones that his actions have NOTHING to do with you, your beauty, worth, and lovability.

Find strength and clarity for yourself, and your marriage.

Rise up, discover, and step into the energy of the incredible woman that you already are.

This can happen whether he’s stopping, stopped, or not stopping his behavior. 

Client breakthroughs

the latest

What if . . . there ARE Things to celebrate about 2020? 

Our cute brains like extremes and consequently when we analyze the past, our thinking may follow suit.  

While there are things about last year I’m not stoked about, 🦠 There are things I can choose to celebrate about. Like . . . 

1) Priorities. The events of 2020 helped me prioritize. Having extra time afforded me the time to get more clear on what I want in my life.  

2) Getting a coach helped me to: 
🔷Deepen my self-love, peace, and trust. 
🔷Dismantle perfectionistic tendencies in all parts of my life. 
🔷Lessen my self-judgment. As we get older, our minds shift into more habit-based thinking. This means I could be judging the crap out of myself without even knowing! Having a coach “call a time out” and help me see my blindspots helped me make a lot of little adjustments that made a BIG difference. 
🔷Reframes. I re-framed a lot of my past. THIS. WAS. AMAZING. No, I didn't change the past, but I was able to use coaching tools with my mid-30's (38 is still mid-30's right?) brain to reframe some carried forward thoughts from my 18, 20, and 22 year old self--amazing, right?  

3) Creating more space. Doing the work above was integral to me holding space for myself to be human. To have the clarity to decide what I want for 2021.  

Which is . . . TO BE ALIVE IN IT ALL.  

-More alive in my discomfort.  

-Alive in deciding and ACTING. I want to shorten the length between deciding and ACTING to elevate my life even more. This is where breakthrough happens, and I plan to do a lot more of that this year.  

-I’ll be honest, it’s a little scary, but thanks to my brain it’s not "paralysis" scary. It’s a different flavor, it's exciting/exhilarating scary (like going down a new ski hill, or roller coaster for the first time). 

I love a good roller coaster, and I REALLY love a good ski hill. ⛷⛄️ 

More controlled, more at peace, more realistic, more understanding, more willingness to feel it all. 

The full range.  

What about you? 

Xxx
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Everything else is a distant second.  

So don’t worry about what a good mom should have said differently to her kids, 

How a good wife would have kept the peace, 

What a good neighbor would have done, 

Or how a “good coach” would have handled that situation.  

We are humans first.  

Behaving like humans, and that’s ok.  

Xxx
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When we get married there is so much focus on our journey together.   
   
Together:   
   
We set goals  
We embark on a journey   
We build dreams   
We’re partners, matched, unified.   
   
Sounds so pretty right?   
   
But what is it, exactly, that we are embarking on?   
   
“Growing together?"   
   
What does that mean anyway?  
   
Wanting him to grow AT THE SAME TIME as you?  
   
And if he doesn’t, then what?   
   
You’re outgrowing him?   
   
If you can relate, it could be helpful to understand a few things:    
1️⃣ You’re not outgrowing him. What you see isn’t what is. What you see is ONLY what you see. You can’t measure his versus your growth. As long as you continue this, you will be miserable.   
2️⃣ You believing this could be slowing you down for a few reasons:   
💧Fear that if you grow too much he won’t want to be with you.   
💧Fear that if you grow too much you won’t want to be with him.   
💧Fear that if you grow too much you may be betraying your marriage.   
   
It is these beliefs ⬆️ holding you back. Not him.   
   
And there may be just as much evidence to support the opposite thoughts (like, if you grow he'll want to be with YOU more, or you'll want to be with HIM more. Or maybe, you growing too much is the BEST thing for your marriage!).   
  
Or . . . what if you can’t outgrow him because you’re both growing, just differently? What if you’ve never been growing “the same,” it just appeared that way because of your thinking love?   
   
So, what you see isn’t what is. What you see is ONLY what you see, with your current lens.   
   
Maybe, we’re just embarking on life . . . together.    
   
Simply because that’s enough.   
   
🔷What if together
  
🤍We’re committed to further developing our individuality? 
🤍We see that it’s the best thing that others take “back seats” to our “front seats” sometimes?   
🤍We promise to love each other as is, for existing, because that’s how we LOVE TO BE LOVED?   
🤍We unify our beliefs in the importance of each of us uniquely coming more into our own?   
  
This is possible. Even for MARRIAGES.   
  
P.S. For you coaches that can relate, it IS SLOWING DOWN YOUR BIZ. I can help💎
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What do church members need to know about quitting porn? @dannypoelmancoaching lays it out so clearly and eloquently in his interview with @ldslifecoaches. So much good stuff talked about in this episode. Whether you’re the one in a relationship with someone looking at porn, or you’re the one wanting to change your habits....this episode is worth a listen.
To listen, tap this profile (@ldslifecoaches ) THEN tap “link in bio.”
Xxx
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I Took a Day.      
     
You know those weeks that are all around tough?     
     
I had one of those.    
     
I was on the brink of tears at multiple times on multiple days.     
     
This time around it had more do to with overwhelm.     
     
So on Thursday evening, I decided to take a day.     
     
I took a day to give myself a gift.      
     
A gift of a clean home.     
     
I even had a plan to watch a movie—DURING THE DAY!!! Gasp!  
     
It was just what I needed.      
     
A nice day with yours truly, a new audiobook, and some low-level movement.     
     
What followed was more than I thought I was giving myself.     
     
What followed was a weekend of more play.     
     
A weekend where I wasn’t “catching up” or trying to “get ahead” for the next week.     
     
It got me thinking:      
     
“What if taking a day IS the thing that sets us up for the next week?”     
     
“What if taking a day IS what slows us down enough to recalibrate and refuel?”     
     
I took a day, and signed 2 clients over the weekend in my sleep.     
     
What does this look like for you?      
     
Where does your overwhelm stem from?      
     
It could be varied ways you have overcommitted yourself.      
     
It also could be LESS about what you’re DOING and more about your THINKING.     
     
What are you thinking during the day that overwhelms you?      
     
It could be something specific, your overall marriage, your spouse’s behavior, another tough relationship, something you need to grieve, and so much more.      
     
What would happen if you just took a day?      
     
When you really step back and think for a moment, will it really be made or broken by what you do or don’t do?     
     
There’s no right answer here.     
     
Your “day” could just be a morning, or two hours to yourself, or a warm bath.     
     
I just want you to consider the idea that the time spent “taking a day” may be what FUELS you to get everything else done in more of a flow state.     
     
If you try it, let me know how it goes!  
     
If it feels uncomfortable while you try it, that’s ok—remind yourself that this may be part of it.

Xxx
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This was taken almost 4 years ago.  

My hubby had been sick (mentally ill)—recovering from childhood trauma—and hadn’t been working for over a year.  

I wanted so badly to compartmentalize my pain in order to enjoy the holidays more.  

I loved the holidays, but it felt like a lot more just plain sucked this year. 

And yes, in this picture, I’m enjoying a beautiful present moment with my daughter. 

I had amazing present moments, but they were fleeting. 

It didn’t feel like they were in my control. 

Now I see that I was wrong, and that’s ok.  

I learned that these moments can be created anytime. 

You don’t have to hope for those ‘fleeting’ moments with your kids and family during the holidays, you can create them. 

You can create them and extend the length of them drastically.  

With your brain. 

Regardless of circumstances. 

I didn’t have this skill back then, and having it now is a total game changer.  

If you’re not enjoying ALL of the holidays, that’s ok. 

Maybe we’re not meant to.  

Maybe we’re still supposed to experience sadness and happiness throughout the year and not be suddenly exempt from Black Friday to New Years.  

The best gift I have ever given myself was the gift of coaching—which has helped me 180 my holiday experiences compared to those years ago.  

If things are hard, let them be hard. 

And know that it CAN get better. 

Xxx 

P.S. If you’re interested in working with me, I only have a few more days open this year to get on a call and chat)! Can’t wait to get rolling with my new and current clients in January! 🙌🏼 🙌🏼
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